Get Your Real Success — Use Something BETTER than Willpower!

pitchconfidenceworkshopadYes — you can do better in life and business.

You need to be skilled to overcome The Deadly Three: Fear, Hesitation, and Procrastination.

How? Build your “Extreme Confidence Skills.”

The Golden Key for Real Success: Replace Willpower with a System
Researchers at Stanford University identified that willpower is like a muscle; it wears out as the day goes along. That’s why I eat salad for breakfast.

[Special Note: You do NOT even need motivation. For example, I’ve coached clients to automatically send an email after completing a marketing phone call. No hesitation. No getting up to use the restroom. No time to let the writing of the email become a bigger, scarier activity. Just an automatic behavior — which is part of a Good System.]

To perform at your best, you need something more powerful than just being confident about “the text” – that is, the actual words of your speech, pitch or sales presentation.

Here’s the solution: You learn special methods I call “Recovery Methods.” Then, you’re confident that you can handle anything that comes up. With this extra level of confidence, you rise to what I call Extreme Confidence. Then you can Perform at Your Best.

A prime element of Extreme Confidence is training in ways to adapt to anything that arises.

For example, let’s say you’re giving a speech, pitch or sales presentation … What if your mind goes blank? Extreme Confidence skills provide you with Recovery Methods so you handle tough moments with poise.

Here’s the important distinction: Rehearsing the text is not enough. You do better when you rehearse Recovery Methods.

Recovery Methods are techniques we use to regain our balance when something goes wrong. Recovery Methods are a foundational part of Extreme Confidence.

Extreme Confidence is when you KNOW that you know how to adapt to anything that arises.

For the times when you need to be on your toes, you need to be able to adapt and pivot quickly.

Here’s an example. I was giving a speech at IBM. My mind went BLANK. I was stuck. Inside, I felt: “Augh! I’m so embarrassed.”

What could I do? What would you do?

On the inside, I was panicking. On the outside, I took a breath and said, “I’ll need to pause for a moment. My brain needs more RAM.”

Those tech folks at IBM thought that a RAM (Random Access Memory) joke was hilarious!

As I work with a client, I help her find her own language—those words that feel comfortable specifically for her. Then we practice. I call out: “Your mind just went blank. Use a Recovery Method.”

This helps my client rise to the level of Extreme Confidence. She gets to the point that she KNOWS that she can recover—and truly connect with her audience.

Conventional Approach: Rehearse the text.
vs.
Extreme Confidence Approach: Rehearse Recovery Methods, too.

Here’s the Point: You rehearse Recovery Methods so you feel an extra layer of confidence throughout your presentation.

Special Note:
Earlier I mentioned: The Golden Key for Real Success: Replace Willpower with a System.

When I work with a client, we plug the person’s unique situation into a number of systems.

Here is an example.

One of my clients, Susan, wanted to give a speech. I introduced her to Elements that Create a Great Connection with the Audience (a system). As part of this process, I worked with Susan so she had options:

  • 3 options for a bit of self-deprecating humor
  • 3 options for a detail that shows your vulnerability
  • 3 options for a detail that reveals your “youthful” enthusiasm that got you connected with [her topic]. (I said, “We’ll place this into a story. Your enthusiasm will wash over the audience. And, enthusiasm is attractive.”)

After we had the options, we could test which elements were a good fit for Susan, and we could see how test audiences responded.

My point is: With a system, you do NOT have to force yourself to create a great performance. Working with a coach makes the whole process doable and often so powerful that you’re surprised.

Vital News: Attend Tom Marcoux’s workshop “Pitch with Extreme Confidence: The Pitch Hacking Method” on April 20, 2017.  You will learn to:

· Experience Real Confidence
· Seize the Investors’ Attention
· Answer Tough Questions with Poise
· Let Go of Fear and Nervousness
· Use Confident Body Language
· Handle Tough Moments (even if your mind goes blank)

Click here to register – early bird fee of $10.00 https://www.meetup.com/Igniter/events/237843482/

Remove Blocks So You Enjoy Real Success!

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Develop flexibility. Use the methods found in Tom Marcoux ‘s “Time Management Secrets the Rich Won’t Tell You

“I’ve not heard that before, would you say that again?” an audience member asked me.

“If you’re looking for a good romantic partner find someone who is kind and flexible,” I emphasized.

When you really want to succeed, remove the blocks so you are kind and flexible.

Our thinking needs flexibility. However, our habitual thoughts can constrict our thinking.

I have a metaphor about flexibility: Every day I do exercises to keep my neck and back flexible.

I’m looking to be flexible in my thinking, too – so I study a number of books. I have the thoughts, research and feelings of a number of people in mind.

The Power of a Flexible Perspective

I’ve learned that …

Life can place you into a new chapter at any time.
Still, you can declare that you are now beginning a new chapter of life.

Why is this helpful? You are declaring your flexibility. Over the years, I’ve learned to adapt when life has tossed in a surprising, tough situation.

One of my favorite quotes is:

“In truth, I am a verb.” – Steve Chandler

When you think of yourself as a verb, you are free! Other people may look at their past behavior and give themselves a noun or label like “shy person.”

Instead, you can change your behavior. As a child, I acted like a shy kid. As an adult, I take courageous action. Then I’m courageous.

Develop Your Flexibility

Nina, one of my clients, said, “I don’t take vacations.”

Then an opportunity arose, and Nina considered taking a vacation. Upon her taking that vacation, I commented: “You are now a person who takes vacations. Prosperous, calm, and happy people take vacations.”

Why is taking a vacation a good idea?

It’s about refreshing yourself and keeping yourself flexible. You also get access to your intuition, and then you can come up with Leap-Up Ideas that could vastly improve your business.

[By the way, a vacation can be two days. Or you could declare a mini-vacation of “I’m taking the afternoon off.”]

Don’t block your blessings. Don’t let doubt stop you from getting where you want to be. – Jennifer Hudson

Learning to let go should be learned before learning to get. Life should be touched, not strangled. – Ray Bradbury

Remember to cultivate two powerful practices: be kind to yourself and others – and be flexible.

Warmly,

Tom

Tom Marcoux, CEO, Executive Coach – Spoken Word Strategist – Pitch Coach

This material is on my mind because I have now opened a special opportunity. When you CLICK HERE, you can go to my questionnaire-webpage and apply for a free consultation with me (limited number available) entitled: “Your Hidden Success Breakthrough – Strategy Session.”

Here are Your BENEFITS of such a free consultation.

  • Create a sense of clarity about the Success you really want to have
  • Discover the essential building blocks for having the Success and Fulfilling Life of your dreams
  • Determine the #1 thing stopping you from having the Success Breakthrough you want
  • Identify the most powerful actions that will move you toward the level of income and abundance you desire
  • Complete the consultation with the excitement of knowing EXACTLY what to do next to create the Breakthrough you truly want

I invite you to apply.

Let’s see if we might get the chance to work together … as a free opportunity to you.

Tom Marcoux
Executive Coach * Spoken Word Strategist * Pitch Coach

CEO (leading teams in United Kingdom, India and USA)

Speaker-author of 42 books (with free chapters on Amazon.com )
 
Author of Soar With Confidence: An Executive Coach Reveals Secrets, Lies and Countermeasures So You Excel Like Top CEOs and Leaders – Pitch, Lead, Succeed (See more when you CLICK HERE )
 
1.8 min. video (on YouTube): Tom Marcoux pulls back the curtain about how his directing a feature film that went to Cannes Film market helps with “Building Your Brand”:

51gjiy0bzvlSoar with Confidence: An Executive Coach Reveals Secrets, Lies and Countermeasures So You Excel Like Top CEOs and Leaders – Pitch, Lead, Succeed

Get the Advantages to take your business to a higher level. Learn Leadership Advantages, Pitch Advantages, and Success Advantages. To Soar with Confidence, you learn and use principles for top level communication to board members, team members and the media.
“Marcoux demonstrates how to “Prepare a Compelling Story that Moves Emotions.” He mentions techniques that he teaches clients for developing compelling Ted Talks.” – Dantalion Jones

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Learn the vital skills of pitching your ideas and enrolling others into your vision. Get that “Big Yes” to funding your project. “This insightful book shows you how to zing a curveball right past the parts of the Hollywood exec’s brain that want to say no before you even make your pitch. You will learn what works when pitching, and more importantly, why, so you can get to YES much more often. Buy this book now. Consider it Spring Training before the big game.” – Danek Kaus

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This invaluable guide, used by people in 15 countries and now in its second edition, will help you become immune to dark persuasion. Learn to use countermeasures to defend yourself against unethical persuasion and seduction tactics. Break any trance in which a salesperson is trying to get you to buy something not to your benefit. “Learn how to defend yourself against manipulation. Best book you’ll ever read to protect yourself, feel strong and move forward in your life. Highly recommended!” – Dr. JoAnn Dahlkoetter

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Secrets of Awesome Dinner Guests: What Walt Disney, Steve Jobs, Oprah Winfrey, Albert Einstein, Martin Luther King, Jr., Helen Keller, and John Lasseter Can Teach You About Success … (The Power of Your Personal Brand)

Imagine dining with Walt Disney, Steve Jobs, Oprah Winfrey, Albert Einstein, Martin Luther King, Jr., Helen Keller, and John Lasseter. These seven people share one thing: They’re great communicators. So this book will help you become a great communicator. “Marcoux especially stresses the importance of personal branding, of coming across as trustworthy and dependable.” – Einar Masson

"Darkest Secrets of Charisma" - improve your confidence - book written by Tom MarcouxDarkest Secrets of Charisma: Overcome the Lies about Personal Magnetism, Get People to Feel Your Charisma and Influence Others with Your Words

Learn how you can tap into your natural gifts and tendencies to radiate Three Types of Charisma. Discover how to influence people with your words. “Marcoux explodes this myth: Charismatic people always feel comfortable before and during an important event, such as public speaking, networking or some other social event. This book shows how you can feel discomfort but still come across as confident and charismatic.The secrets include ways to radiate all three forms of charisma Marcoux describes as Warm Trust Charisma, Natural Charm Charisma and Magnetic Charisma.” – Danek Kaus

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What the Rich Don’t Say about Getting Rich: Work Smarter, Live Better

You want wealth, abundance and enjoyment–yes? Wouldn’t it be great to learn the real strategies that the Rich use to create Sustainable Wealth? This book takes you behind-the-scenes to what really works. You’ll see a lot of myth-busting, and you’ll learn the strategies that get real results. “Tom Marcoux gives you an inside look on the psychology of what it takes to be successfully wealthy in life. It’s more than just taking advantage of opportunity, but also about taking care of yourself. This book discusses a number of strategies that we often overlook when it comes to leading a successful life that leads to wealth generation.” – Barry Adamson II

Free Yourself from Fear

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Free Yourself from Fear — use methods in Tom Marcoux ‘s book The Power of Confidence

“What keeps people stuck?” my friend Anita asked.

Fear keeps people stuck in many situations,” I replied.

“Is it really possible to release ourselves from fear?” she asked.

Now, we’re stepping into areas of philosophy and practical ways to raise our levels of success and fulfillment.

“Everything you want is on the other side of fear.” Jack Canfield

From interviewing successful people, I’ve learned that they have certain patterns in place in how they approach problems and situations. They certainly feel fear, but they do not let fear paralyze them.

Some people don’t like change, but you need to embrace change if the alternative is disaster.
  Elon Musk

The path out of fear-based paralysis is change.

How do we do that? I’ve learned that you can just sit there and something will likely push you and the consequences may be truly painful.

However, the empowered state of being is to make choices. I’ve learned that it helps to condition oneself to take an empowered stance when dealing with fear.

To Free Yourself from Fear, Use this Pattern: Face it –> Flip it –> Forward it

  1. Face it.

Name it. Call it out. When we allow fear to hide in the dark, it feels bigger. However, if you name the fear, you can use that step as the start for ascending a staircase.

With Ned, one of my clients, I started a particular conversation with: “What are you afraid of?”

“We don’t have enough sales. I’m afraid we’re going to go out of business,” he said.

“Okay. That’s a good start. What can you do to improve sales?”

“I don’t know,” Ned began. “Maybe work with a coach on improving sales. Read some books. Work with my team. Interview some previous customers and ask why they bought our products,”

“Good ideas, Ned. So which of these ideas does your gut say is the one to begin with—today?”

The point here is: Ned could make improvements once he expressed his fear and then tossed some ideas on the table.

Now it’s your turn. What are you afraid of? Write this down, and then note some possible actions you can implement.

  1. Flip it.

The idea of “flip it” is to turn over or transform the fearful thought to something empowering.

As an Executive Coach, I often help clients open their awareness to new facets of a situation or problem. I often ask a question that opens some expansive thinking possibilities for the client.

When appropriate, I introduce my client to a principle that can help him or her shift to an empowered point of view about a situation. I mention to my clients that I have three hats of “coach, consultant and mentor.”

I’ll now share with you my idea “Mentor On Your Shoulder.” (My further guidance/blog posts are available at MentorOnYourShoulder.com.)

Your “Mentor On Your Shoulder” Keeps Certain Principles Accessible in Your Mind

Here we’re looking at “Mentor on your shoulder” as a metaphor to having someone near you to tell you valuable principles when you need them.

The process is to memorize certain phrases which stand for principles that a mentor would share with you.

Here are examples of such phrases:

a. “If in doubt, leave it out.”

On certain occasions, you can save yourself a lot of trouble, by restraining yourself from certain actions. People often say, “I knew I should not have done that.” When you recall the phrase “If in doubt, leave it out,” you can pause and perhaps, simply avoid some action that could make a situation worse.

b. “No hesitation.”

Sometimes, my team faces “creative stuck-points.” For example, recently, we needed to design a Dragon-character for my graphic novel series, Jack AngelSword. I said, “No hesitation!” and encouraged myself and two artists to jump in and draw a bunch of quick sketches. I’ve found that pressing on can help release one from hesitation, fear or being baffled about what might be a solution. I’ve said, “I’ll find out when my pencil is on the sheet of paper.” This means that I’ll find a solution as I’m actually drawing some sketches.

c. “Better than zero.”

I’ve noted that several artists and others get stuck with forms of perfectionism. I suggest making some form of progress. For example, even just 10 sit-ups a day is “better than zero.” Two quick sketches for a logo is better than nothing on the paper. Often one just needs to get started and then the ideas flow.

d. “Face the numbers and adapt from there.”

Several years ago, I was directing a feature film which called for a dream-related flying scene. The first thing was to consider a conventional way to get the effect done. I faced the numbers: $5,000 for a studio rental and some “wire-work.”

Instead, I adapted. I used a darkened garage, stood on a black tarp, and moved the camera (combined with a fast zoom-in). The cost? – when the image was composited during editing (back then at an editing studio) $100.00.

The idea here is to avoid letting fear shut down one’s thinking. Start with the conventional and then adapt and move out from there.

Steven Spielberg is noted for staying under budget when making each of his films. He made JURASSIC PARK for $63 million. To stay under budget, he cut a scene with the heroes in a river raft besieged by pterodactyls. (That scene finally saw production in JURASSIC PARK III.) Even Spielberg adapts.

  1. Forward it

I’m using forward here in the manner of “move forward.” Take some little step forward. Perhaps, it’s sending out an email to some friends and acquaintances asking for ideas to solve a problem. Maybe you’ll call your team together for a brainstorming session.

Even a simple Google search can help you take a step forward.

When you’re in action, you’re focused, and fear is a quiet voice in the background.

In summary, if you’re experiencing fear that’s like a vicious dog pinning you in one place … then use the Face It –> Flip It –> Forward It Process.

Warmly,
Tom

Tom Marcoux
Executive Coach
Spoken Word Strategist

Pitch Coach

CEO (leading teams in United Kingdom, India and USA)

Speaker-author of 41 books (with free chapters on Amazon.com )
Author of Soar With Confidence: An Executive Coach Reveals Secrets, Lies and Countermeasures So You Excel Like Top CEOs and Leaders – Pitch, Lead, Succeed (See more when you CLICK HERE )
1.8 min. video (on YouTube): Tom Marcoux pulls back the curtain about how his directing a feature film that went to Cannes Film market helps with “Building Your Brand”:
Author of Reduce Clutter, Enlarge Your Life (See more when you CLICK HERE )
and Year of Awesome! (See more when you CLICK HERE )

Confidently Connect with People even when You Feel Like You’re Failing

"Darkest Secrets of Charisma" - improve your confidence - book written by Tom Marcoux
Darkest Secrets of Charisma” – improve your confidence – book written by Tom Marcoux

“How can I genuinely connect with people even when deep inside I feel like I’m failing?” my client, Alisha, asked.

“What brings this up?” I asked.

“I feel like I’m not making enough marketing calls. I feel ashamed about that. I even feel scared,” Alisha said.

I next guided her in the process Shift to an Empowering Question. The idea is that we shift out of dark thoughts into new, positive possibilities.

First, I’ll share that successful people I’ve interviewed and those I’ve studied find that just before the breakthrough there is a “breakdown”—that is big trouble. For example, Denis Waitley wrote The Psychology of Winning when he was flat broke. He finished that audio program, and it went on to be one of the bestselling audio programs of all time.

Years ago, some authors wrote: “Fake it until you make it.”

On the other hand, I have something better for you: Act It Until You Become It.

We’re not talking about trying to prevent every negative thought. Instead, we’re talking about Shifting to an Empowering Question.

Use the Power of “How can I …?”
Here’s an example: “How can I take what I learned on that sales call, and do better with the next one?”

I’ll answer that. Write things down and keep notes. For every sales call, you can use what I share with my clients: In a journal, you draw a line down the center of the page. On the left side, write down: “What worked.” On the right side, write down “Areas to Improve.”

The idea is to capture that information. That’s how you’re going to do better.

Use the Power of “How can we …?”
The focus is on “we.” For example, when I guide clients to identify 3 Levels of Goals: Good, Excellent, and Amazing!, we note that Amazing Results require a team or at least connections with other people.

One of my clients applied this “How can we?” process.

She asked, “How can we … get me more referrals?”

That was a great starting point.

In summary, we’re talking about how a negative thought comes up – and your effective response is to come back with an Empowering Question.

Here’s another Empowering Question: How can I take one small step now in a positive direction?

If you’re worried about not making enough marketing phone calls, you ask, “How can I change my schedule?” One of my mentors emphasizes “8 before 8” – that is, 8 phone calls before 8 in the morning. He also says, “5 after 5.” That is, 5 phone calls after 5 pm in the evening.

Remember, when a negative thought comes up, you ask an Empowering Question.

So if you’re about to give a sales presentation or speech, ask yourself: “How can I help these people?” — “How can I listen well and help them know I care?” — “How may I serve?”

You’ll feel better. You’ll go into action.

Once in action, you’ll feel more confident. In this way, you can do better with your meetings/conversations during the day.

Warmly,

Tom

Tom Marcoux
Executive Coach
Spoken Word Strategist

Pitch Coach

CEO (leading teams in United Kingdom, India and USA)

Speaker-author of 41 books (with free chapters on Amazon.com )
 
Author of Soar With Confidence: An Executive Coach Reveals Secrets, Lies and Countermeasures So You Excel Like Top CEOs and Leaders – Pitch, Lead, Succeed (See more when you CLICK HERE )
 
1.8 min. video (on YouTube): Tom Marcoux pulls back the curtain about how his directing a feature film that went to Cannes Film market helps with “Building Your Brand”:
 
Author of Reduce Clutter, Enlarge Your Life (See more when you CLICK HERE )
 
and Year of Awesome! (See more when you CLICK HERE )

Don’t Wait for “Motivation” — Get in Action — Make 2017 a Better Year

Powerful InstaMaxPro techniques in Tom Marcoux's book "Year of Awesome!"
Start 2017 in an empowered way! Get Tom Marcoux ‘s book “Year of Awesome!

“I just can’t get motivated,” my new client Alice said.

“Let’s set aside trying to get motivated for a moment,” I replied. “For many of us, it’s just a matter of setting a system. For example, I meditate every day.”

“How?”

“Upon awakening, I set out my candle and my timer,” I replied, “And I meditate BEFORE I turn on any electronic device. This is my system.”

S – set aside resistance
E – energize yourself
T – target 3 Levels of Goals

  1. Set aside resistance

A good system acknowledges that human beings often resist what is good for them.

For example, I eat salad for breakfast. Why? Salad is just not fun for me. Research from Stanford University notes that people’s willpower (like a muscle) wears out as the day goes along. So what helps? Do the tough thing early in the day. I eat salad for breakfast. That is a good system.

Now it’s your turn. How can you turn aside your own resistance? At what time during the day do you have more energy? Will you apply that time and energy to something that you find difficult to do?

  1. Energize yourself

Sometimes a break is exactly what you need to get into action. For example, when I edit some writing, I’ll feel myself “running out of fuel.” So I get up and walk over to another room and get some water.

I return renewed and my brain can offer new, fresh insights. In essence, a break has renewed my energy.

Now it’s your turn. Will you implement breaks in your day? Will you find ways to augment your energy in healthy ways? (Sometimes, a 10-minute walk will help.)

  1. Target 3 Levels of Goals

A good system helps you keep connected with what really moves you—what gets you into action.

Some people are not putting more energy into accomplishing their dreams because their goals are too weak.

To make things work better, I guide my clients to have 3 Levels of Goals: Good, Excellent, and Amazing!

Some authors feel good when they’re selling 30 books a month. They consider selling 3,000 copies to be Amazing! The characteristic of Amazing!-Goals is that they require connecting with others. We can invite others to help us make things happen.

So a good system can include different elements. The author can write blog articles. That can be related to a Good Goal.

Then to have more energy, the author can work toward the expansive Amazing!-Goal. She can call one other author per day toward forming alliances.

One of my mentors guided me to ask for (at least) one referral a day. That’s working toward Goals on the levels of Excellent and Amazing!

Now it’s your turn. How can you include a few tasks which would propel you toward your Amazing!-Goals? Who can you call to start mutually beneficial relationships?

In summary, do NOT wait for motivation. Just set a system and get into motion. Once in motion, you’ll do more and more.

Isaac Newton formulated The First Law of Motion that includes the idea: “a body in motion at a constant velocity will remain in motion …”

The big benefit of your system is that it gets you into motion—the kind of motion that leads to significant and positive results. When you consistently get yourself in motion each day—you’ll make 2017 a terrific year!

Warmly,

Tom

Tom Marcoux
Executive Coach
Spoken Word Strategist

Pitch Coach

CEO (leading teams in United Kingdom, India and USA)

Speaker-author of 41 books (with free chapters on Amazon.com )
Author of Soar With Confidence: An Executive Coach Reveals Secrets, Lies and Countermeasures So You Excel Like Top CEOs and Leaders – Pitch, Lead, Succeed (See more when you CLICK HERE )
 
1.8 min. video (on YouTube): Tom Marcoux pulls back the curtain about how his directing a feature film that went to Cannes Film market helps with “Building Your Brand”:
Author of Reduce Clutter, Enlarge Your Life (See more when you CLICK HERE )
 
and Year of Awesome! (See more when you CLICK HERE )

Be Yourself, Continue Forward Even When People Don’t Hear You

Be yourself -- even when some people "cannot hear you."
Be yourself — even when some people “cannot hear you.”

“I overheard something that bothered me a lot,” my client Amanda said. After a big breath, she continued, “I heard someone at my office say, ‘Amanda said some self-aggrandizing stuff in her speech today.”

A combination of sadness and panic came upon Amanda’s face.

“What did I do wrong?!” Amanda said.

“I’m not sure that you did anything wrong. How about I ask you a couple of questions?” I asked.

“Okay.”

“Did you tell the truth?” I asked.
“Yes.”
“Were you making an important point?”
“Yes.”
“Did you talk about something you learned?”
“Yes.”
“Did you show how you went from making a mistake to succeeding at something?”
“Yes.”

Then Amanda’s facial expression changed, and she said, “Oh …”
“Oh, what?”
“I don’t think that person heard my whole story.”
“Exactly!” I said, smiling.

In our discussion, I went onto point out:

  • Sometimes, people don’t hear your whole story. They get stuck on one detail.
  • Sometimes, several people will never align with what you’re talking about. And it’s necessary to acknowledge that fact.
  1. Sometimes, people don’t hear your whole story. They get stuck on a detail.

I’ve noticed something recently. Sometimes, people literally do not hear one crucial word. Just yesterday, my sweetheart made a comment, and a friend, Joe, did not smile at her humorous detail.

I noticed this, and said, “Oh. She just added a funny detail about valium.”

“Valium? Oh, I didn’t hear that,” Joe said.

Sometimes, people actually do not hear what you said. It can be a physical difficulty. Many of us have some form of damaged hearing due to loud music on mobile devices, concerts – and loud movie theaters.

Secondly, some people stop hearing you after one particular detail.

One of my clients, Wendy, told an audience of entrepreneurs that Bill Gates got a $50,000 loan from his father to buy an operating system that he renamed as MS-DOS. She discovered that many people tuned out because they felt that Bill Gates had been “born with a silver spoon in his mouth.”

So the truth is: In every audience, you are likely to find that some people never hear your whole story. They get stuck on one detail, and then hear nothing more of what you express.

 

  1. Sometimes, several people will never align with what you’re talking about. And it’s necessary to acknowledge that.

One of my mentors said, “If you even mention that you wrote a book, some people in the audience will take offense.”

“How?” I asked.

“Just by mentioning your book, to these particular individuals, you’re selling something. And it bothers them. A lot,” my mentor explained.

Ultimately, many of the top speakers in the world get to the point where they flow with the reality that they will always have people who miss the message they’re offering.

“30% will love you. 30% will hate you. And 30% couldn’t care less.” – Gabrielle Reece

I add to the above comment with: “Do what you do. Don’t let it stop you that 60% of the people may not be with you.”

For a speaker, it’s important to serve the 30% of the audience who are right there on the same page as you are. They ARE attentive. They want to learn.

*  *  *  *  *  *

In recent weeks, my client Amanda has learned to set her own criteria for success.

She takes it in that when she gives a speech to 20 people and only two people have critical comments.

That’s 18 people out of 20 who gained value.

That’s good.

No—that’s great!

You can still practice different ways to reach as many people as possible.

For example, I have trained speakers to reach analytical people with a numbered list of methods. I’ve also guided them to have some friendly back-and-forth with audience members so that “relaters” (a personality style) can warm up to these speakers.

Be yourself.
Avoid becoming obsessed that some people did not hear you.
Practice methods to reach a spectrum of people.
Express what you’ve learned.

Do not toss your light under a garbage can just because some people cannot relate to your journey of learning and success.

Again – be yourself.

Warmly,

Tom

Tom Marcoux
CEO (leading teams in United Kingdom, India and USA)

Speaker-author of 40 books (with free chapters on Amazon.com )
Executive Coach
Spoken Word Strategist
Author of Time Management Secrets the Rich Won’t Tell You (See more when you CLICK HERE )
1.8 min. video (on YouTube): Tom Marcoux pulls back the curtain about how his directing a feature film that went to Cannes Film market helps with “Building Your Brand”:
Author of Connect: High Trust Communication for Your Success in Business and Life (See more when you CLICK HERE )

Use Powerful Methods for Risks and Making Big Decisions

Tom Marcoux addresses Stanford University PhD's and PhD-candidates with his topic "Soar With Confidence"
Tom Marcoux addresses Stanford University PhD’s and PhD-candidates with his topic “Soar With Confidence”

“It’s hard for me to make the big decisions,” my client Cara said.

“I hear you,” I replied. “That’s understandable. I’ve been listening carefully to your current situation and you have a lot at stake.”

Working with clients, and as CEO, leading my international team members for my own company, I work with people taking appropriate risks.

I recall this quote:

“Failure or the risk of failure could often be a crucial step on the road to success.” – Dominic Randolph

Being skillful about “risk of failure” is valuable.

“The heart and soul of the company is creativity and innovation. … People don’t like to follow pessimists.” – Bob Iger, CEO of The Walt Disney Company

I usually write about having courage and using strategy to take appropriate risks.

There is another side to this equation.

It’s valuable to learn when taking a particular risk is ill-advised.

I use 3 Considerations Related to Saying “No” to a Particular Risk

  • “If It’s not hell yes, then it’s hell no.”
  • I don’t feel a burning energy to do this.
  • If in doubt, leave it out.
  • Bonus Consideration: Really wanting it to be true does not make it true.
  1. “If it’s not hell yes, then it’s hell no.”

Years ago, I saw a comment by Cheryl Richardson in one of her books: “If it’s not hell yes, then it’s hell no.”

This is useful. Why? Because whatever you decide, you’re going to pay for it. For example, years ago, I directed a feature film in which I played a leading character and I did my own stunts.

I held onto the hood of a speeding, classic, cherry-red Chevy truck going 60 miles an hour.

Would I do that today? No. I’m not interested. Been there, done that. I’m older, and I’m not interested in risking great injury. I’d rather devote my time to leading my team in making six graphic novels of my series Jack AngelSword.

Now it’s your turn. Do you really want something? Is it a total, enthusiastic “hell yes!”? If not, then maybe it’s NOT worth it to you.

  1. “I don’t feel a burning energy to do this.”

Recently, I was offered two big opportunities. Both required that I invest money and time in big proportions. I said to my sweetheart, “I don’t feel a burning energy to do this.” That was an important point! It’s good to listen to yourself.

Now it’s your turn. As you talk with people you trust about a particular risk, how do you REALLY feel about it? Do you feel a burning energy to do it?

  1. If in doubt, leave it out

I’ve made big decisions. I’ve led five companies—plus directing my first feature film, giving my first big speech in front of 700 people, writing a book [I’ve written 40 books now. CLICK HERE to look inside the books.], hiring important team members and more.

Did I have any doubts when I went ahead? I did have a small doubt or two. But during those times, my big, positive burning desire was more important than any fear I had.

On the other hand, a Big, Important Doubt, might be your intuition saying: “Hey! Pay attention to this. Something is OFF here.”

If you have that kind of doubt, “leave it out” – that is, protect yourself and don’t go down a dark path.

Now it’s your turn. Do you have a “Big, Important Doubt”? Is your wish for a particular outcome maybe blinding you to a big downside?

3a. “Bonus”: Really wanting it to be true does not make it true.

One particular time, someone invited me to join a business opportunity. When I first heard about the business situation and what MIGHT blossom out of it, my heart filled up with “Oh! I hope this is true — and this works! My life would change so much. This could be my Big Breakthrough!”

It was necessary for me to quiet down my fantasy-thoughts, and take a close look at the whole situation.

I call myself an OptiRealist. That is, I’m optimistic that we can make things better AND I’m realistic to know that strategy is necessary. Another realistic view is that any project can get bumpy or even fall apart. Maybe you could barely hold the project together, but with the wrong people involved, you could waste a lot of your time.

For example, I directed a particular film project years ago. A certain actor refused to re-record certain lines of dialogue. This person was afraid of losing close-up shots. Wait a minute! If the scene does not make sense, this actor would still lose!

I carefully explained the need for the scenes to be re-edited to make the whole film project work. Still, this actor refused to record new lines of dialogue.

My solution: I replaced the voice of that actor through the whole film. I had to fix the scenes. That was my job as producer and film director.

A Special Consideration: Ask yourself, “How much control do I have in the project so I can take action to fix things?” If you have multiple opportunities before you, you may want to focus on those projects that give you a good degree of control so you CAN fix things.

It is realistic to understand that sometimes people will be so self-focused that they may hurt a project.

My point is: Pay close attention. If you’re in a project with trustworthy people, you’ll be okay. If you doubt the professionalism of people involved, it may be time to avoid the deal or situation.

Now it’s your turn. Have you interviewed a lot of people related to the proposed deal or situation? Have you made sure to realize “wanting something to be true does not make it true”?

As an Executive Coach and the Spoken Word Strategist, I often work with clients who need to take appropriate risks. How do you know if the risk is appropriate?

One part of the process is to thoroughly submit the risky deal or situation to these 3 Considerations Related to Saying “No” to a Particular Risk

  • “If It’s not hell yes, then it’s hell no.”
  • I don’t feel a burning energy to do this.
  • If in doubt, leave it out.
  • Bonus Consideration: Really wanting it to be true does not make it true.

You really need to get access to your intuition. Some researchers identify intuition as “unconscious intelligence.” That is, they suggest that you really KNOW something but it has not risen to the neocortex of the brain yet.

Pay close attention.
Guard your time and resources.
Then you can get the most value when you take an appropriate risk.

Warmly,
Tom

* See my new book Year of Awesome! How You Can Use 12 Success Principles including 10 Seconds to Wealth  (CLICK HERE to look inside the book)

Tom Marcoux
CEO (leading teams in United Kingdom, India and USA)

Speaker-author of 40 books (with free chapters on Amazon.com )
Executive Coach
Spoken Word Strategist
Author of Time Management Secrets the Rich Won’t Tell You (See more when you CLICK HERE )
1.8 min. video (on YouTube): Tom Marcoux pulls back the curtain about how his directing a feature film that went to Cannes Film market helps with “Building Your Brand”:
Author of Connect: High Trust Communication for Your Success in Business and Life (See more when you CLICK HERE )