Find Your Freedom in Difficult Times

Tom Marcoux addresses Stanford University PhD's and PhD-candidates with his topic "Soar With Confidence"
Tom Marcoux addresses Stanford University PhD’s and PhD-candidates with his topic “Soar With Confidence”

“You don’t understand. My life is … I mean, I’m bombarded with stress,” my new client Howard said. After an extended discussion, my questions helped him get to the point when he said, “I have a difficult job. I have difficult responsibilities.” These were important statements of truth.

On some level, Howard wanted his wife to shoulder more of the responsibilities of their lives together. But the truth was, it was HIS job. It was his responsibilities. At a certain point in the conversation, Howard told me, “Cheryl’s number one priority is her sanity and her health.” This was also true.

As an Executive Coach, my agenda is my client’s happiness and success. Sometimes, the direct path to that is to face tough truths of the client’s current life situation.

Howard needed to make his priority his own sanity and his own health. The first thing was for him to let go of resentments and to let go of the hope that “rescue was coming.” No. His wife was not going to rescue him.

“What do you really want?” I asked Howard.
“I want to get good enough at this job so that I’m not worrying every day,” he said.
“So, what are you doing about it?” I asked.
“I work long hours,” he said.
“Do you have all the training you need?” I asked.

This question opened a golden line of discussion. Ultimately, Howard decided to get more training.

“Give me six hours to chop down a tree and I will spend the first four sharpening the axe.” – ascribed to Abraham Lincoln

To get training is a great idea. It’s like you’re the axe, and to do well you need to be sharp.

Here Is Your Freedom in a Difficult Time
If you’re waiting for someone else to change, you’re a prisoner.
When you uncover what action YOU can take, then you become free.
Actually, you become free as you take that action.

When you’re in action, you’re focused, and fear is a quiet voice in the background.

Now it’s your turn. What truth do you need to face? How can you get training or work on acquiring the habits to make you more effective?

This material is on my mind because I have now opened a special opportunity. When you CLICK HERE, you can go to my questionnaire-webpage and apply for a free consultation with me (limited number available) entitled: “Your Hidden Success Breakthrough – Strategy Session.”

Here are Your BENEFITS of such a free consultation.

  • Create a sense of clarity about the Success you really want to have
  • Discover the essential building blocks for having the Success and Fulfilling Life of your dreams
  • Determine the #1 thing stopping you from having the Success Breakthrough you want
  • Identify the most powerful actions that will move you toward the level of income and abundance you desire
  • Complete the consultation with the excitement of knowing EXACTLY what to do next to create the Breakthrough you truly want

I invite you to apply.

Let’s see if we might get the chance to work together … as a free opportunity to you.

Warmly,

Tom

Tom Marcoux
Executive Coach * Pitch Coach
Spoken Word Strategist


CEO (leading teams in United Kingdom, India and USA)

Speaker-author of 41 books (with free chapters on Amazon.com )
 
Author of Soar With Confidence: An Executive Coach Reveals Secrets, Lies and Countermeasures So You Excel Like Top CEOs and Leaders – Pitch, Lead, Succeed (See more when you CLICK HERE )
 
1.8 min. video (on YouTube): Tom Marcoux pulls back the curtain about how his directing a feature film that went to Cannes Film market helps with “Building Your Brand”:

 

51gjiy0bzvlSoar with Confidence: An Executive Coach Reveals Secrets, Lies and Countermeasures So You Excel Like Top CEOs and Leaders – Pitch, Lead, Succeed

Get the Advantages to take your business to a higher level. Learn Leadership Advantages, Pitch Advantages, and Success Advantages. To Soar with Confidence, you learn and use principles for top level communication to board members, team members and the media.
“Marcoux demonstrates how to “Prepare a Compelling Story that Moves Emotions.” He mentions techniques that he teaches clients for developing compelling Ted Talks.” – Dantalion Jones

51kgz7eafllDarkest Secrets of Making a PITCH for Film and Television: How You Can Get a Studio Executive, Producer, Name Actor or Private Investor to Say “Yes” to Your Project

Learn the vital skills of pitching your ideas and enrolling others into your vision. Get that “Big Yes” to funding your project. “This insightful book shows you how to zing a curveball right past the parts of the Hollywood exec’s brain that want to say no before you even make your pitch. You will learn what works when pitching, and more importantly, why, so you can get to YES much more often. Buy this book now. Consider it Spring Training before the big game.” – Danek Kaus

coverfromamazonDarkest Secrets of Persuasion and Seduction Masters: How to Protect Yourself and Turn the Power to Good

This invaluable guide, used by people in 15 countries and now in its second edition, will help you become immune to dark persuasion. Learn to use countermeasures to defend yourself against unethical persuasion and seduction tactics. Break any trance in which a salesperson is trying to get you to buy something not to your benefit. “Learn how to defend yourself against manipulation. Best book you’ll ever read to protect yourself, feel strong and move forward in your life. Highly recommended!” – Dr. JoAnn Dahlkoetter

 

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Secrets of Awesome Dinner Guests: What Walt Disney, Steve Jobs, Oprah Winfrey, Albert Einstein, Martin Luther King, Jr., Helen Keller, and John Lasseter Can Teach You About Success … (The Power of Your Personal Brand)

Imagine dining with Walt Disney, Steve Jobs, Oprah Winfrey, Albert Einstein, Martin Luther King, Jr., Helen Keller, and John Lasseter. These seven people share one thing: They’re great communicators. So this book will help you become a great communicator. “Marcoux especially stresses the importance of personal branding, of coming across as trustworthy and dependable.” – Einar Masson

 

"Darkest Secrets of Charisma" - improve your confidence - book written by Tom MarcouxDarkest Secrets of Charisma: Overcome the Lies about Personal Magnetism, Get People to Feel Your Charisma and Influence Others with Your Words

Learn how you can tap into your natural gifts and tendencies to radiate Three Types of Charisma. Discover how to influence people with your words. “Marcoux explodes this myth: Charismatic people always feel comfortable before and during an important event, such as public speaking, networking or some other social event. This book shows how you can feel discomfort but still come across as confident and charismatic.The secrets include ways to radiate all three forms of charisma Marcoux describes as Warm Trust Charisma, Natural Charm Charisma and Magnetic Charisma.” – Danek Kaus

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What the Rich Don’t Say about Getting Rich: Work Smarter, Live Better

You want wealth, abundance and enjoyment–yes? Wouldn’t it be great to learn the real strategies that the Rich use to create Sustainable Wealth? This book takes you behind-the-scenes to what really works. You’ll see a lot of myth-busting, and you’ll learn the strategies that get real results. “Tom Marcoux gives you an inside look on the psychology of what it takes to be successfully wealthy in life. It’s more than just taking advantage of opportunity, but also about taking care of yourself. This book discusses a number of strategies that we often overlook when it comes to leading a successful life that leads to wealth generation.” – Barry Adamson II

 

 

Free Yourself from Fear

ThePowerOfConfidence(forweb
Free Yourself from Fear — use methods in Tom Marcoux ‘s book The Power of Confidence

“What keeps people stuck?” my friend Anita asked.

Fear keeps people stuck in many situations,” I replied.

“Is it really possible to release ourselves from fear?” she asked.

Now, we’re stepping into areas of philosophy and practical ways to raise our levels of success and fulfillment.

“Everything you want is on the other side of fear.” Jack Canfield

From interviewing successful people, I’ve learned that they have certain patterns in place in how they approach problems and situations. They certainly feel fear, but they do not let fear paralyze them.

Some people don’t like change, but you need to embrace change if the alternative is disaster.
  Elon Musk

The path out of fear-based paralysis is change.

How do we do that? I’ve learned that you can just sit there and something will likely push you and the consequences may be truly painful.

However, the empowered state of being is to make choices. I’ve learned that it helps to condition oneself to take an empowered stance when dealing with fear.

To Free Yourself from Fear, Use this Pattern: Face it –> Flip it –> Forward it

  1. Face it.

Name it. Call it out. When we allow fear to hide in the dark, it feels bigger. However, if you name the fear, you can use that step as the start for ascending a staircase.

With Ned, one of my clients, I started a particular conversation with: “What are you afraid of?”

“We don’t have enough sales. I’m afraid we’re going to go out of business,” he said.

“Okay. That’s a good start. What can you do to improve sales?”

“I don’t know,” Ned began. “Maybe work with a coach on improving sales. Read some books. Work with my team. Interview some previous customers and ask why they bought our products,”

“Good ideas, Ned. So which of these ideas does your gut say is the one to begin with—today?”

The point here is: Ned could make improvements once he expressed his fear and then tossed some ideas on the table.

Now it’s your turn. What are you afraid of? Write this down, and then note some possible actions you can implement.

  1. Flip it.

The idea of “flip it” is to turn over or transform the fearful thought to something empowering.

As an Executive Coach, I often help clients open their awareness to new facets of a situation or problem. I often ask a question that opens some expansive thinking possibilities for the client.

When appropriate, I introduce my client to a principle that can help him or her shift to an empowered point of view about a situation. I mention to my clients that I have three hats of “coach, consultant and mentor.”

I’ll now share with you my idea “Mentor On Your Shoulder.” (My further guidance/blog posts are available at MentorOnYourShoulder.com.)

Your “Mentor On Your Shoulder” Keeps Certain Principles Accessible in Your Mind

Here we’re looking at “Mentor on your shoulder” as a metaphor to having someone near you to tell you valuable principles when you need them.

The process is to memorize certain phrases which stand for principles that a mentor would share with you.

Here are examples of such phrases:

a. “If in doubt, leave it out.”

On certain occasions, you can save yourself a lot of trouble, by restraining yourself from certain actions. People often say, “I knew I should not have done that.” When you recall the phrase “If in doubt, leave it out,” you can pause and perhaps, simply avoid some action that could make a situation worse.

b. “No hesitation.”

Sometimes, my team faces “creative stuck-points.” For example, recently, we needed to design a Dragon-character for my graphic novel series, Jack AngelSword. I said, “No hesitation!” and encouraged myself and two artists to jump in and draw a bunch of quick sketches. I’ve found that pressing on can help release one from hesitation, fear or being baffled about what might be a solution. I’ve said, “I’ll find out when my pencil is on the sheet of paper.” This means that I’ll find a solution as I’m actually drawing some sketches.

c. “Better than zero.”

I’ve noted that several artists and others get stuck with forms of perfectionism. I suggest making some form of progress. For example, even just 10 sit-ups a day is “better than zero.” Two quick sketches for a logo is better than nothing on the paper. Often one just needs to get started and then the ideas flow.

d. “Face the numbers and adapt from there.”

Several years ago, I was directing a feature film which called for a dream-related flying scene. The first thing was to consider a conventional way to get the effect done. I faced the numbers: $5,000 for a studio rental and some “wire-work.”

Instead, I adapted. I used a darkened garage, stood on a black tarp, and moved the camera (combined with a fast zoom-in). The cost? – when the image was composited during editing (back then at an editing studio) $100.00.

The idea here is to avoid letting fear shut down one’s thinking. Start with the conventional and then adapt and move out from there.

Steven Spielberg is noted for staying under budget when making each of his films. He made JURASSIC PARK for $63 million. To stay under budget, he cut a scene with the heroes in a river raft besieged by pterodactyls. (That scene finally saw production in JURASSIC PARK III.) Even Spielberg adapts.

  1. Forward it

I’m using forward here in the manner of “move forward.” Take some little step forward. Perhaps, it’s sending out an email to some friends and acquaintances asking for ideas to solve a problem. Maybe you’ll call your team together for a brainstorming session.

Even a simple Google search can help you take a step forward.

When you’re in action, you’re focused, and fear is a quiet voice in the background.

In summary, if you’re experiencing fear that’s like a vicious dog pinning you in one place … then use the Face It –> Flip It –> Forward It Process.

Warmly,
Tom

Tom Marcoux
Executive Coach
Spoken Word Strategist

Pitch Coach

CEO (leading teams in United Kingdom, India and USA)

Speaker-author of 41 books (with free chapters on Amazon.com )
Author of Soar With Confidence: An Executive Coach Reveals Secrets, Lies and Countermeasures So You Excel Like Top CEOs and Leaders – Pitch, Lead, Succeed (See more when you CLICK HERE )
1.8 min. video (on YouTube): Tom Marcoux pulls back the curtain about how his directing a feature film that went to Cannes Film market helps with “Building Your Brand”:
Author of Reduce Clutter, Enlarge Your Life (See more when you CLICK HERE )
and Year of Awesome! (See more when you CLICK HERE )

Move Ahead Successfully Even When You’re Criticized

Make 2017 Your Best Year! ... Get Tom Marcoux 's book 'Soar! Nothing Can Stop You This Year"
Make 2017 Your Best Year! … Get Tom Marcoux ‘s book ‘Soar! Nothing Can Stop You This Year”

Do you want real success and fulfillment? Then, learn to handle criticism in an empowered manner. The crucial detail when facing criticism is to prepare your own personal and empowering questions.

  1. Does this person really want good things for me?
  2. What are my personal goals and does this comment strengthen me?
  3. Does this comment strengthen my work?
  4. Does this comment help me learn and grow?
  1. Does this person really want good things for me?

I have an extended family member (a toxic person) who has nothing but criticism for me. He’s older and he’s never been an entrepreneur, author, educator or feature film director. Those are my areas of expertise. However, this person just wants to make me “wrong.” Wait a minute! This is a family member, but his goal is “to be right” and “to put the other person down.” It’s sad really.

When you consider whether criticism has merit, consider the source. If someone is in your target market, that criticism may be useful. However, if someone is merely guessing and has never entered the field you’re working in, assess whether to dismiss such criticism.

Talking to my negative extended family member would be where good ideas go to die. So I often avoid this person. I have a circle of friends and colleagues who are supportive and still provide me with the constructive feedback that may be hard to hear, but their intention is good things for me. I can trust them.

 

  1. What are my personal goals and does this comment strengthen me?

What are your real goals? Do you want to be famous? Do you want to do good artistic work? Do you want to make lots of money? Do you deeply long to express your creativity?

All of the above have different elements attached to them.

It’s important for you to be honest with yourself. What do you really want?

The truth is that I want to serve my readers, audiences, graduate students and clients. So I’m willing to hear tough feedback and learn about areas to improve for my projects. For each book I write, I have at least two editors. They can be really tough and they push me to write in better ways. That’s what I really want. I do not want to be coddled.

So even if my editors might occasionally clothe a comment with sarcasm, I still know that their comments actually strengthen me. After writing 41 books [free chapters visible on Amazon.com], I’m a better writer today.

Also, pause and get access to your own intuition. Often, some people are so quick to judge and say, “That won’t work.” How do they know? And imagine this: If your intuition is correct and you follow your heart—and you succeed—what will they say? They’ll merely shrug and mildly reply, “Oh, I guess I was wrong on that one.” Do not leave your fate to someone else. Answer your own heart’s call.

 

  1. Does this comment strengthen my work?

This is where the real work takes place. A tough comment like “I think that totally fails to engage your target market” may be the best reality check that you need. For example, with a video related to my science fiction franchise TimePulse, my team hit a wall. We needed a paragraph to bridge two sections of the video. I had four people tell me that the paragraph missed the mark. Okay. Back to the drawing board. Eventually, we came up with a solution. With a new approach, we found an appropriate quote to bridge the sections. 

 

  1. Does this comment help me learn and grow?

My team members know that I can calmly listen to any comment that points out flaws in a draft of a project. I’ll often ask follow-up questions. Why? I’m focused on learning and growing as an artist in the various fields I participate in: speaking, writing, filmmaking and art direction of graphic novels.

My point is that a truly creative person must develop a “thick skin” and also run criticism through a filter. Some critical comments have nothing to do with your goals. Let them flow past like leaves on a stream of water.

Other comments which are given to support you and which strengthen your work may raise your work to world-class level. It’s an adventure that is actually worth the pain and effort. It’s a road that includes surprising, happy moments.

Principle: Use Empowering Questions to assess if criticism can be useful to you.

Consider some recent criticism lobbed your way. Use these questions:

  1. Does this person really want good things for me?
  2. What are my personal goals and does this comment strengthen me?
  3. Does this comment strengthen my work?
  4. Does this comment help me learn and grow?

Guard your personal energy and leap upwards to higher levels of success and happiness.

Warmly,

Tom

Tom Marcoux
Executive Coach
Spoken Word Strategist

Pitch Coach

CEO (leading teams in United Kingdom, India and USA)

Speaker-author of 41 books (with free chapters on Amazon.com )
Author of Soar With Confidence: An Executive Coach Reveals Secrets, Lies and Countermeasures So You Excel Like Top CEOs and Leaders – Pitch, Lead, Succeed (See more when you CLICK HERE )
1.8 min. video (on YouTube): Tom Marcoux pulls back the curtain about how his directing a feature film that went to Cannes Film market helps with “Building Your Brand”:
Author of Reduce Clutter, Enlarge Your Life (See more when you CLICK HERE )
and Year of Awesome! (See more when you CLICK HERE )

 

Don’t Wait for “Motivation” — Get in Action — Make 2017 a Better Year

Powerful InstaMaxPro techniques in Tom Marcoux's book "Year of Awesome!"
Start 2017 in an empowered way! Get Tom Marcoux ‘s book “Year of Awesome!

“I just can’t get motivated,” my new client Alice said.

“Let’s set aside trying to get motivated for a moment,” I replied. “For many of us, it’s just a matter of setting a system. For example, I meditate every day.”

“How?”

“Upon awakening, I set out my candle and my timer,” I replied, “And I meditate BEFORE I turn on any electronic device. This is my system.”

S – set aside resistance
E – energize yourself
T – target 3 Levels of Goals

  1. Set aside resistance

A good system acknowledges that human beings often resist what is good for them.

For example, I eat salad for breakfast. Why? Salad is just not fun for me. Research from Stanford University notes that people’s willpower (like a muscle) wears out as the day goes along. So what helps? Do the tough thing early in the day. I eat salad for breakfast. That is a good system.

Now it’s your turn. How can you turn aside your own resistance? At what time during the day do you have more energy? Will you apply that time and energy to something that you find difficult to do?

  1. Energize yourself

Sometimes a break is exactly what you need to get into action. For example, when I edit some writing, I’ll feel myself “running out of fuel.” So I get up and walk over to another room and get some water.

I return renewed and my brain can offer new, fresh insights. In essence, a break has renewed my energy.

Now it’s your turn. Will you implement breaks in your day? Will you find ways to augment your energy in healthy ways? (Sometimes, a 10-minute walk will help.)

  1. Target 3 Levels of Goals

A good system helps you keep connected with what really moves you—what gets you into action.

Some people are not putting more energy into accomplishing their dreams because their goals are too weak.

To make things work better, I guide my clients to have 3 Levels of Goals: Good, Excellent, and Amazing!

Some authors feel good when they’re selling 30 books a month. They consider selling 3,000 copies to be Amazing! The characteristic of Amazing!-Goals is that they require connecting with others. We can invite others to help us make things happen.

So a good system can include different elements. The author can write blog articles. That can be related to a Good Goal.

Then to have more energy, the author can work toward the expansive Amazing!-Goal. She can call one other author per day toward forming alliances.

One of my mentors guided me to ask for (at least) one referral a day. That’s working toward Goals on the levels of Excellent and Amazing!

Now it’s your turn. How can you include a few tasks which would propel you toward your Amazing!-Goals? Who can you call to start mutually beneficial relationships?

In summary, do NOT wait for motivation. Just set a system and get into motion. Once in motion, you’ll do more and more.

Isaac Newton formulated The First Law of Motion that includes the idea: “a body in motion at a constant velocity will remain in motion …”

The big benefit of your system is that it gets you into motion—the kind of motion that leads to significant and positive results. When you consistently get yourself in motion each day—you’ll make 2017 a terrific year!

Warmly,

Tom

Tom Marcoux
Executive Coach
Spoken Word Strategist

Pitch Coach

CEO (leading teams in United Kingdom, India and USA)

Speaker-author of 41 books (with free chapters on Amazon.com )
Author of Soar With Confidence: An Executive Coach Reveals Secrets, Lies and Countermeasures So You Excel Like Top CEOs and Leaders – Pitch, Lead, Succeed (See more when you CLICK HERE )
 
1.8 min. video (on YouTube): Tom Marcoux pulls back the curtain about how his directing a feature film that went to Cannes Film market helps with “Building Your Brand”:
Author of Reduce Clutter, Enlarge Your Life (See more when you CLICK HERE )
 
and Year of Awesome! (See more when you CLICK HERE )

How to Get More Done—2 Powerful, Simple Methods!

Get More Done! Get Tom Marcoux 's book "Soar! Nothing Can Stop You This Year!"
Get More Done! Get Tom Marcoux ‘s book “Soar! Nothing Can Stop You This Year!”

“I’m just not getting enough done,” Serena, a new client, said.

“What’s holding you back?” I asked.

“I try to do each step perfectly. If I’m going to leave a voicemail, I want my script to be perfect. Or I don’t call and leave a voicemail for a prospective customer,” Serena said.

“Sounds like you could use The 80% Solution,” I said.

The 80% Solution is a reminder to avoid letting perfectionism stand in your way. Some time ago, I heard a speaker mention the 80% Solution. The idea is to move forward and to avoid waiting to attempt to do things perfectly.

Except for performing surgery, many things in life can work and still be imperfect. For example, you could make an imperfect phone call and still get the business. It’s important to get into action! Make the phone calls, send the emails, mail the gifts. Meet in-person with people you want in your network.

Life is about success, not perfection. – Alan Weiss

Even if you had a perfect script to use while talking with a prospective customer, that person is going to shake you up with new questions and new ideas. Aim to learn with every call and every meeting. Get in the game. Take action today and learn as you go.

 

Use the Power of “No Hesitation”

Sometimes, when I get together with one of my video editors, the video project looks like a real mountain to climb. Our first feeling is: “I don’t know where to start.”

I say, “No hesitation.” We simply jump into the editing efforts. Sure, the first edit is a mess. However, once you get started, the mountain wears down to being a hill.

Some of us must make a lot of phone calls during the day. Exclaim “No hesitation” and get going fast.

The essence of InstaMaxPro.com is “Instantly Get Better; Maximize Your Life.”

Maximizing your life is about taking “proper action.” One of my mentors emphasized “proper action.” For example, I’ve found it helpful to call a person and ask, “Is this a good time to talk?” To me, that’s “proper action” because I want to give us the chance to be comfortable and to really connect. If the person says, “I need to finish something now,” I set (with the person) a convenient time for me to call again.

If I get the intuitive thought to call someone, I often say, “No hesitation.” And I call that person.

It helps to practice ways to cultivate your intuition. That meant so much to me that I wrote a book that shares such methods—Soar! Nothing Can Stop You This Year! [CLICK HERE to look inside this book].

Here I will share this point: Intuition is like a friend. If you act on your intuitive thoughts, your intuition functions as if it’s saying, “Oh, you’re listening to me. I’ll offer you more insights.”

If you find yourself getting stuck, remember the 80% Solution and “No Hesitation.”*

Warmly,
Tom

* Some situations go better when you put in more thought. If you sense that you have a situation that requires more thought, give yourself “thinkspace.” You could say, “Let me check my schedule. How about I get back to you tomorrow afternoon about that.”

Tom Marcoux
Executive Coach
Spoken Word Strategist

Pitch Coach

CEO (leading teams in United Kingdom, India and USA)

Speaker-author of 41 books (with free chapters on Amazon.com )
 
Author of Soar With Confidence: An Executive Coach Reveals Secrets, Lies and Countermeasures So You Excel Like Top CEOs and Leaders – Pitch, Lead, Succeed (See more when you CLICK HERE )
 
1.8 min. video (on YouTube): Tom Marcoux pulls back the curtain about how his directing a feature film that went to Cannes Film market helps with “Building Your Brand”:
Author of Time Management Secrets the Rich Won’t Tell You (See more when you CLICK HERE )
Author of Connect: High Trust Communication for Your Success in Business and Life (See more when you CLICK HERE )

Be Yourself, Continue Forward Even When People Don’t Hear You

Be yourself -- even when some people "cannot hear you."
Be yourself — even when some people “cannot hear you.”

“I overheard something that bothered me a lot,” my client Amanda said. After a big breath, she continued, “I heard someone at my office say, ‘Amanda said some self-aggrandizing stuff in her speech today.”

A combination of sadness and panic came upon Amanda’s face.

“What did I do wrong?!” Amanda said.

“I’m not sure that you did anything wrong. How about I ask you a couple of questions?” I asked.

“Okay.”

“Did you tell the truth?” I asked.
“Yes.”
“Were you making an important point?”
“Yes.”
“Did you talk about something you learned?”
“Yes.”
“Did you show how you went from making a mistake to succeeding at something?”
“Yes.”

Then Amanda’s facial expression changed, and she said, “Oh …”
“Oh, what?”
“I don’t think that person heard my whole story.”
“Exactly!” I said, smiling.

In our discussion, I went onto point out:

  • Sometimes, people don’t hear your whole story. They get stuck on one detail.
  • Sometimes, several people will never align with what you’re talking about. And it’s necessary to acknowledge that fact.
  1. Sometimes, people don’t hear your whole story. They get stuck on a detail.

I’ve noticed something recently. Sometimes, people literally do not hear one crucial word. Just yesterday, my sweetheart made a comment, and a friend, Joe, did not smile at her humorous detail.

I noticed this, and said, “Oh. She just added a funny detail about valium.”

“Valium? Oh, I didn’t hear that,” Joe said.

Sometimes, people actually do not hear what you said. It can be a physical difficulty. Many of us have some form of damaged hearing due to loud music on mobile devices, concerts – and loud movie theaters.

Secondly, some people stop hearing you after one particular detail.

One of my clients, Wendy, told an audience of entrepreneurs that Bill Gates got a $50,000 loan from his father to buy an operating system that he renamed as MS-DOS. She discovered that many people tuned out because they felt that Bill Gates had been “born with a silver spoon in his mouth.”

So the truth is: In every audience, you are likely to find that some people never hear your whole story. They get stuck on one detail, and then hear nothing more of what you express.

 

  1. Sometimes, several people will never align with what you’re talking about. And it’s necessary to acknowledge that.

One of my mentors said, “If you even mention that you wrote a book, some people in the audience will take offense.”

“How?” I asked.

“Just by mentioning your book, to these particular individuals, you’re selling something. And it bothers them. A lot,” my mentor explained.

Ultimately, many of the top speakers in the world get to the point where they flow with the reality that they will always have people who miss the message they’re offering.

“30% will love you. 30% will hate you. And 30% couldn’t care less.” – Gabrielle Reece

I add to the above comment with: “Do what you do. Don’t let it stop you that 60% of the people may not be with you.”

For a speaker, it’s important to serve the 30% of the audience who are right there on the same page as you are. They ARE attentive. They want to learn.

*  *  *  *  *  *

In recent weeks, my client Amanda has learned to set her own criteria for success.

She takes it in that when she gives a speech to 20 people and only two people have critical comments.

That’s 18 people out of 20 who gained value.

That’s good.

No—that’s great!

You can still practice different ways to reach as many people as possible.

For example, I have trained speakers to reach analytical people with a numbered list of methods. I’ve also guided them to have some friendly back-and-forth with audience members so that “relaters” (a personality style) can warm up to these speakers.

Be yourself.
Avoid becoming obsessed that some people did not hear you.
Practice methods to reach a spectrum of people.
Express what you’ve learned.

Do not toss your light under a garbage can just because some people cannot relate to your journey of learning and success.

Again – be yourself.

Warmly,

Tom

Tom Marcoux
CEO (leading teams in United Kingdom, India and USA)

Speaker-author of 40 books (with free chapters on Amazon.com )
Executive Coach
Spoken Word Strategist
Author of Time Management Secrets the Rich Won’t Tell You (See more when you CLICK HERE )
1.8 min. video (on YouTube): Tom Marcoux pulls back the curtain about how his directing a feature film that went to Cannes Film market helps with “Building Your Brand”:
Author of Connect: High Trust Communication for Your Success in Business and Life (See more when you CLICK HERE )